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I did so much thought in it that I literally glanced up at the shining horizon. What should I keep. and what should I sacrifice?
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It was believed
that to sacrifice one’s self for the sake of others was a selfless act. But
what if it comes to a person sacrificing something or someone he/she loves,
will that be considered selfless? Or rather, selfish?
How one sees these
questions is different from one another. I, too, have my own say, for I have
sacrificed something that I adored a lot for the benefits of others around me.
The story remains to be a dimly lit memory, and I only have the outline to see.
And yet, when it comes to sacrificing, everything that we loved and hated suddenly
becomes clearer, in a sense that we involuntarily tensed ourselves to focus on
two things: which to sacrifice, and which to keep.
For now, I shall
tell a short story that I have made that has something in common to what I'm going to discuss about within this article of mine. It tells on how to act when
deciding, for every decision has its different consequences, and we, as simple
humans, didn't have the power to see such consequences. It also tells the
consequences of letting the important things go and keeping the wrong ones. I
hope dear readers, that this is enough to say that you have to know which of
those ‘important things’ is the most important of them all.
There was a young
man who has a talent in painting, and he maintains a love so strong that he
never sells any of his paintings, even if it for a hefty price. He also has a
family of three whom he loves and whom loves him back, and he proudly confirmed
with himself that he won't let money or any other worldly material to get in
the way of him and his family.
One blustery night,
the man decided to paint as usual, when his wife came home from work, wearing a
glum expression on her face and hands both full, carrying two heavy-looking
briefcases. The youngest named Jonas ran quickly to his mother and tugged on
the sleeve.
“Mom, I need some
help with my homework --” he started, but his mother interrupted him, her eyes
focusing on her husband.
“I'm very sorry
dear, I need to get back to work as soon as I can,” she heaved a sigh, and
gently patted her disappointed son’s head.
Without looking
away from his painting, he called out, “Is there trouble in the office?”
“They need
additional workers, and I’m afraid I won't be home until morning,” she said
hastily, before grabbing a packed lunch and shoving it quickly to her
already-full handbag.
“What about
dinner?” the eldest, Karen, asked, worried because her mother wasn't eating
much during the last few days.
“I’m packing
lunch. Don't worry. And oh, Karen, can you please help Jonas with his
homework?” She called out as she quickly picked up the briefcases and went to
the door, fumbling with her keys.
“Sorry Mom, I have
a research coming up.”
“Then let James
help him.” She opened the door, and shouted a quick, “I’m off!” And the door
was closed.
James overheard
what his mother said and frowned. “Can’t have any time at all. I have to
rewrite my discussion paper.”
“That’s what
happens when you forget your homework,” Karen said disapprovingly.
“Shut up, Karen,”
James said and went to his room, slamming the door.
Karen sighed
before looking down at her little brother. “If you ever need help, come to my
room. Or, you should ask Dad. Right, Dad?” she called out.
No answer.
Shrugging, Jonas
faced his sister, “Dad’s painting again. I’ll go to him.”
Karen nodded, and
went upstairs to her room. Jonas proceeded to his Dad’s personal painting room,
where all his paintings were crammed in one place. He gingerly opened the door,
saw that his father was painting solemnly, and he stepped inside, gently
closing the door behind him. He wondered why he was nervous of his own father.
“Dad?”
“What is it?” he
grunted.
“I need some help
with my homework, if that’s okay with you --”
“Son, I’m busy
painting. We’ll do that later.”
“But, it’s due
tomorrow, and I’m confused --”
“Ask your brother
or sister. They can help.”
“But they are busy
themselves, and --”
“Damnit, son, go
do it yourself!” he shouted.
Jonas started to
tear up. His father didn't do that before. “Why did you shout at me, Dad?”
He let his
paintbrush go, and his fingers ran through his hair. “Because you are
disturbing my work! Just go and do it yourself!”
Now the boy did
cry. In his frustration, he shouted back, “You are not even working! Only Mom is
working!” He kicked a small box in front of him, and it hit his father’s
painting, which fell down on the floor, with several wet paint smeared on it.
Jonas swallowed. He nervously stared at his father who was trembling. He didn't mean to.
“Get out.”
“Dad, I'm sorry
--”
“I said get out.”
“Dad, I’m --”
“Haven't you
heard?! I said get out!”
The door was
pushed open, and Karen, with a disgruntled James, came in. Their expression
changed when they saw a crying Jonas and their fuming father. Instinctively, Karen
picked up her brother and stared at her father, disbelief clouding her vision.
“Dad, what
happened?”
“Your brother --”
he pointed at Jonas, who shrank away in Karen’s arms, “ruined my painting on
purpose!”
“What a pathetic
reason to get angry! It’s just a painting,” James said, unable to believe that
his father was getting angry over something small.
“Just a painting?
It was important! Something that I fervently love! And you ruined it!” He
pointed at the painting that was lying down on the floor silently.
Breathing heavily,
Jonas said, in a muffled and strained voice “You chose a painting over us! I am
erasing you from my 6 most important people in my life list!” With that, he
pushed Karen a bit roughly and ran out of the room.
“Jonas!” She ran
after him.
James was about to follow, but he glanced back at his father, and
said, “Who are you?” He walked out of the room, leaving their father quiet.
He had claimed to
himself that he never replace his family even if it was for all the money in
the world. But he had never thought that it would to this. It was his painting
that made him replace his family. And he had never realized it.
That night, he
didn’t sleep.
The next morning,
Alice came home with a lot of weight on her back. Aside from the pressure that
she had gained from her overbearing boss, her superior handed her a huge stack
of papers that needs to be sent after a day only. She also sensed her
children’s rising difficulty with their schoolwork, and she suspected a lot was
strained between the kids and their father. And to think, she and her husband haven't conversed much.
She walked
upstairs to their room, or had been theirs, for it was like they were roommates
of different nationalities. Slightly opening the door, she can see that there
was a huge breathing lump that was her husband sleeping peacefully. She closed
it quickly, and proceeded to her kid’s rooms.
Alice went to
Karen’s room first. The lights were still on, and she sighed as she saw lots of
notes and printed reports on top of the laptop. Karen was sleeping with an open
book on her hand. Lovingly, she took the book from her daughter’s hand and
placed it on the bed table. Before glancing at the door, she kissed her
daughter on the forehead.
Next, she went to
James’ room. As far as she can remember, his room was the dirtiest among all
the rooms that she had cleaned. When she opened the door, frowning as she
pictured the clutter in her head, she was surprised to see no scene that was
similar to what she was thinking.
James had cleaned
his room tiredly before sleeping, and there was a piece of paper on top of his
head. Carefully, she picked it up, and sighed when she saw that it was his
discussion paper. She folded it carefully and placed it on top of his bag
before leaving the room.
When she opened
the door, there was a person on her son’s desk. Startled, she opened the door
widely, and sighed again when she saw that it was Jonas himself sleeping on his
desk. He was still holding a pen tightly even when he was sleeping soundly.
There was a paper underneath him. Curious, she walked towards him and carefully
lifted up her son’s head to get the paper, before placing it back gently on his
folded arms.
She felt her eyes
tearing up when she started to read the first sentence on the crumpled paper.
My 6 most
important things in my life by Jonas Crumpleberry:
1. My family
Note:
Mrs. Juniper, I would like to list the people who are under this number, for
everyone is important to me:
Mom,
Karen, and James
2. My family’s love for each other
3. God
4. My friends
5. Everyone
6. Life
Alice blinked
thrice when she realized that something was missing: her husband’s name. She
went to the desk, placed the paper on top, and grunted as she carried her son
all the way to his bed. Placing the covers on him, she asked herself, “What did
happen?”
In the end, after
a lot of nudging, Karen told her mother about last night’s incident while she
drove her car with her three kids to school. Everyone fell to silence, until
their mother said out loud, “I have decided on this.”
***
“What are you talking
about, Alice? This is…” he stared at his expressionless wife before he started
to breath frantically. He cannot believe it himself. It was all coming too
fast.
“I have decided on
this,” she repeated in a strong voice, louder than before. “I’m sorry. It can't work out anymore. The kids, everyone, including me, you left us all out.”
Those words struck
him, hard. He was still holding onto his paintbrush tightly. He simply can’t
believe it himself. He felt his emotions draining him dry. What Alice was deciding
on doesn’t sound like the best one she had.
“Alice, that’s not
true --”
“Don't make this
any harder, Albert.” She looked away, and covered a hand over her mouth. “I’m
sorry myself, but please don't make this any harder. You paint.” She stared at
him with woeful eyes. “You chose your talent over your own family. And that is
simply the most ridiculous thing that I've ever heard. And we were that family.”
“Alice, I --”
“Albert. I ask
you, one last time.” She breathed in heavily. “Which will you let go?”
“I don’t wish for
any of you to go! Please Alice, please.”
“Just choose
Albert, the kids are waiting outside. You can't possibly keep any of us waiting
for long.”
His thoughts
reverted to his family. They were a handful, but life had been a great company.
Their wedding, Karen’s birth, James’ first win in baseball, Jonas’ first loose
tooth. His happiness was added…when painting came. He wanted both to stay, but
he can't let go of painting. “Alice.”
“I paint --”
She broke into a
muffled sob and nodded quickly. Picking up her bags, she went to the door,
slamming it shut behind her.
Ever since that
day, the house had been empty. Practically empty. Albert Crumpleberry had sold
his house, his paintings, everything, but it had been too late.
Alice Crumpleberry
had permanently moved to Ohio with her three kids, Jonas, James, and Karen.
Things weren't working out as they were, but she decided to sacrifice her
marriage with Albert for the sake of everyone’s happiness. It was one of the
hardest things she has to face. She bit on her lip to keep herself from crying
as they moved farther away from what had been their former happy family, now
chosen over another ‘important thing’.
Life moved on,
with one regretting, and one adjusting to the consequences of what they kept, and
sacrificed.
I can't believe
that, while writing this story, I cried a lot, and the touching background
music that I was listening to added my emotions to pour out as I type. I have a
similar ‘important thing’, and that is writing. But I thought over how much my
family can make me happy than how writing can, and I don't wish to sacrifice
them for the sake of something that I developed.
I have my own 'list of important things in my life', six, to be specific. The list includes: God, my family, my pen, my writing, and my friends. (People stared at me as though my hair had turned green; I can't help it, I just love pens) I haven't thought of the story on my own. It was due to the making of the 'sacrificing activity' (yes, it sounds weird, but that is how I like to call it) that I was able to make this story.
Just as I have
mentioned earlier, how one sees an ‘important thing’ of another person (or even
your own ‘important thing’) is different from how another person sees it. Let
your complete concentration pour on your inner consciousness, and focus on why
this is your ‘important thing’ among many others that you also considered as
your ‘important thing’. You should know what to keep, and what to sacrifice,
for the benefits of yourself, and for the benefits of others.
Thank you so much
reading this, dear reader.
